So reflecting what I feel now

Everything in this article is how I feel except for the introduction part where you get into an argument with a boyfriend, etc and me arguing with a girlfriend. I just needed to express myself after being mistreated by my girlfriends...and just a few days ago, a cancer patient's SOS has helped me to see with my own eyes through a rude jolt and realize that my having such friends is an OUCH worth putting into the dustbin and emptying after! I've since made a new friend who is a cancer patient who is younger than me but is different from those friends by a thousand miles.

Sticks and stones may break my bones - and words hurt, too!

by Kate Little

Girlfriends are supposed to be the ones you run to when you get into an argument with a boyfriend, boss, or bag-boy at the grocery store, right? But what do you do when the one that you are arguing with is your girlfriend? Who do you go to when you want to wail about the injustice of it all when she is the one treating you unfairly? Ouch - the complicated world of female relationships. Welcome to it.

Relationships among women can be the source of some of the most satisfying, giggle-inducing, nobody-understands-me-like-you joys of life. We pick up the phone after a tough day, our best friend answers, and we start with, "It happened AGAIN today..." She immediately knows what you're talking about; no small talk or introduction needed. How many conversations have you had with a girlfriend that sound something like this:

"Can you believe that?"
"No! What was he thinking?"
"I don't know!"
"I know what you mean."
"I mean, come ON!"
"Seriously."
"I'm so over it."
"Yeah. I don't blame you."

To the foreign (aka male) ear, that kind of girl-speak makes no sense whatsoever. But between girlfriends it expresses understanding, sympathy, and steadfast loyalty. Our relationships are a safe haven where we can be ourselves and be accepted.

There is a dark side to girl-friendships, however. Possessiveness, competition, and hypersensitivity run rampant among female relationships. You've heard the old saying: Two's company, three's a crowd. That saying is especially true with us. Far too often, girl-friendships fall apart because another female came between two best friends. It may not happen in every case, and when it does, it might not happen maliciously, but it definitely happens. It's as though we stake a territorial claim on our friends, we fly our flag on their land, and when another woman enters the picture, the terrain becomes uncomfortably congested. It makes me want to shout, "Why can't we all just get along?!"

So how do we deal with arguments between our closest and most-trusted girlfriends? The worst part about these kinds of quarrels is that, because we have divulged most of our secrets, dreams, and fears to the person we are in conflict with, they usually include the most painful, straight-to-the-heart jabs. These are the wounds that take so long to heal - much longer than cuts, bruises, and broken bones. It's easy to brush off a rude stranger's actions or a snobby coworker's comments. It isn't so easy, though, to forget the hurtful words that came out of your girlfriend's mouth in the heat of an argument. Likewise, it's very difficult to take those words back if you were the one who spoke them. The question we have to ask ourselves is this: Is the relationship worth fixing? Can it even be repaired? If the answer is yes, then that girl-friendship will be stronger than ever and will withstand the test of time. If the answer is no, then it may be time to move on. Chalk it up to a learning experience, and be grateful for the good times you shared.